As If Breathing

My friends ask me about my photographs: "what happened to you these past 2 months?" I am so glad that they (and others) noticed... I am not going to tell you what they said, because... it's embarrassing to hear good words about my work*

A good number of writers on photography (on the internet) insist that only the best work should be presented in online galleries. I agree with them. It is a good discipline. I don't do that, not because I don't have discipline. Well OK I have issues with discipline. But more important to me is to remember my transformations. I want to share my development with my friends. I want them to see how I evolve. I want them to see my missteps and my experiments.

I think about photography day and night. I imagine ideas. I think about techniques. I used to think about Judo day and night. Before that I used to think about cooking day and night. After Judo I thought about Tango day and night. So, yeah... I am obsessive.

A few nights ago, I stared outside my window, into the icy rain, and I HAD to capture the icicles. So, I grabbed my camera, and took this, and posted it onto 500px. Only to remove it 10 minutes later.

What a fucking moron I was. I had no business showing this photo. 1/4 second, ISO 1600, hand-held, no vibration reduction?? That's just plain stupid. I was angry at myself. So, I yanked it out, and tried again. This time, with more seriousness.

That got me thinking a lot about long exposure time. So I started to play.

Yes, yawn. Here is the thing: EVERYONE has to go through it. I had never gone through this phase. So I had to. I didn't have a choice. I had to do it. So, stupid, yet so necessary.

And then, I went to the milonga.

I also took a few "normal" shots.

Still, look at the settings in these last two photographs. 1/15 second, hand-held...

Anyway, what the hell is happening to me? I gave my friends very very very long answers. The short version is that, photography has become closer to... breathing.

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* Long story. Let's just say that I am still striving to prove that I am worthy..

Spending Time With Every Camera

I made sure to have the Fuji X100 in the car, because the night before, I saw the spot by the dam, and I wanted to try again. A few weeks ago, I had captured the scene using my Pentax Q. I was not happy about it. So when the snow blanketed the ground again, it was time.

Sticks in the Snow by jaime montemayor on 500px

And then, I saw the Leica-T on my shelf. I had not played with it for a few weeks. I pointed it at everything in my home, my family, the flowers*, the pickled olives (for dinner), snap snap snap.

I was drooling over a bunch of Leica M-mount lenses all day long, and I wondered: "you freaking moron... look what you already have to play with."

So that you can appreciate what I do with my time, when I am not at work, not dancing, not being part of my family, not grappling (oh right I also do that), not sleeping, not eating, last night, I shot the trees-in-the-snow during the drive home, I shot the flowers (with the Leica-T) during dinner, and I shot some pictures of my family, using the Nikon 1 V2 with the 10-100mm PD that I received in the mail yesterday.

Right...

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* I know that you might be distracted by the artifacts... But, if you have read my other posts, you might know that, to me, the experience of shooting must (in itself) be pleasurable, and so important to me, that I would prefer to NOT use a camera that does not "turn me on" just to capture a superior image.

Micro Purpose

I set auto ISO to 6400, shutter speed at 1/30, and manual focus. I pick some random object at about 10 feet away, and pre-focus the lens. And then I step out of the apartment, into the night, with a micro purpose.

I want people to see that I am taking pictures. I am not going to be sneaky. Well ok, not one micro purpose. Several.

To capture images on the street, of people, is very easy. To capture interesting images of people on the street, ridiculously difficult. So I ease myself, I take a shitty photo of a building, "with people."

Shitty picture of a building. Yawn.

But here is the thing: I crouch into a wide stance, I take forever to focus (because I had previously set to about 10 feet, and I just basically ruined my plan..), and I am OBVIOUSLY taking a picture. Not too far away, I see a man in a wheelchair, my brain says, "hmmm this is an interesting shot, because, man-in-wheelchair-against-the-stream-of-oncoming-everyone-else-people." It's a stupid idea. But my micro-purpose tonight is to make it obvious that I am taking pictures. So I crouch into my wide stance again, I lift the camera to my eye, and I focus. Now, everyone but the man sees what I am doing. I think, better than the building shot.

The man and I are waiting for the light. And I think, "oh another interesting shot." (Look, I know the shots are stupid. But I am in my 10,000 crappy photo journey, so, it's got to be this way, for a long long time.) And I compose, shoot, compose, shoot, repeat. He turns to me, says something that I can't hear. I walk towards him, and show him the picture of himself. "Oh man that's nice." I pat him on his shoulder, I say, "Thank you."

I try a new restaurant.

I have coffee. And I play with my Digilux 1.