As If Breathing

My friends ask me about my photographs: "what happened to you these past 2 months?" I am so glad that they (and others) noticed... I am not going to tell you what they said, because... it's embarrassing to hear good words about my work*

A good number of writers on photography (on the internet) insist that only the best work should be presented in online galleries. I agree with them. It is a good discipline. I don't do that, not because I don't have discipline. Well OK I have issues with discipline. But more important to me is to remember my transformations. I want to share my development with my friends. I want them to see how I evolve. I want them to see my missteps and my experiments.

I think about photography day and night. I imagine ideas. I think about techniques. I used to think about Judo day and night. Before that I used to think about cooking day and night. After Judo I thought about Tango day and night. So, yeah... I am obsessive.

A few nights ago, I stared outside my window, into the icy rain, and I HAD to capture the icicles. So, I grabbed my camera, and took this, and posted it onto 500px. Only to remove it 10 minutes later.

What a fucking moron I was. I had no business showing this photo. 1/4 second, ISO 1600, hand-held, no vibration reduction?? That's just plain stupid. I was angry at myself. So, I yanked it out, and tried again. This time, with more seriousness.

That got me thinking a lot about long exposure time. So I started to play.

Yes, yawn. Here is the thing: EVERYONE has to go through it. I had never gone through this phase. So I had to. I didn't have a choice. I had to do it. So, stupid, yet so necessary.

And then, I went to the milonga.

I also took a few "normal" shots.

Still, look at the settings in these last two photographs. 1/15 second, hand-held...

Anyway, what the hell is happening to me? I gave my friends very very very long answers. The short version is that, photography has become closer to... breathing.

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* Long story. Let's just say that I am still striving to prove that I am worthy..

Ask Me If I Care About The High ISO Artifacts

Let me just declare, again, I love my Leica M9. The experience is so pure, so satisfying, so... mechanically direct, that I (almost) don't care about the end result, the photographs. Why bother using a $4,000 (used price) camera and lens, to take photos? Right right right?

The experience.

Anyway, I brought the M9 + Summicron-C to the 18th Street Lounge Milonga, knowing that it was going to be too dark. Still, I said to myself, "I don't care, I am going to enjoy pressing the delicious shutter.*"

Look at the settings... These were dancers (MOVING!), and I was shooting at ridiculously long shutter speeds. And look at all the artifacts.

And the banding...

You know what? I would rather that I remembered these moments, no matter how crudely they were recorded, than not having memories of the night.


* Actually, I cursed. I curse all the time.

Insistence

Two days later, the First Saturday Milonga at Eastern Market. Unhappiness from my first outing with my Leica M9, into the dark dance environment, I resolved to find the proper spirit.

Caught by Melody

I set my camera to ISO 800, super slow shutter speed. and f2.

I found the settings in LR5 that I liked, given the environment at Eastern Market, and I created a custom filter in Silver Efex to post-process. And you know what??? OK the images are crappy but they HAVE WHAT I LIKE in them! And anyway I am known for "my kind of crappy." That is to say, it's pretty easy to spot my photos because... well, they are not in focus, they are messy, and, yeah... did I mention messy?

Three hours sleep. After the morning market at Dupont Circle, with too-much-light, but hey I am not complaining. (note: tangueros and tangueras are crazy people who lose the ability to sleep.)

I love the M9. It keeps me honest. And let me tell you, it kind of hurts.