On the Eve of Acquiring a Leica M9

I am about to bought a Leica M9. Long story, another time. A nutty story..

Anyway, I took out my Fuji X100 to the 18th Street Lounge Milonga. I am beginning to understand it, to understand the meaning behind the symbols in the viewfinder.

Last week, Jake (at Eastern Market Tango Club) asked me about my photographs from 2 weeks ago... I said, "well, I used my $100 camera... and my $4000 camera." He laughed and laughed and laughed. "But more importantly," I said, "I realized, fuck realism." He nodded. He, a poet, translator, dancer, understood me.

Early last year, fed up that I was not growing, that I was creating more of the same, I told him that I was going to stop taking photos at Eastern Market, that I felt stale. I was bored. Jake told me, "Do whatever you want to do with your photography here. This is your place to explore. You are always exploring and challenging yourself (and other things that he told me that I am not going to bore you with)..."

So I stuck with it. I looked for new ways to grow. I looked for my true self (oh my.. so trite, but, I was really trying to understand "art," when I had been, my entire life, "engineer.")

Anyways, I have been on this, "fuck it" mentality. I shot, with absolute care-free mind...

I shot, believing that what I did with my camera was justifiably mine.

I pointed my camera into the space before me. I saw the dancers, and I believed in myself.